Rhoda: A life measured not in years, but in lives touched

Some people leave footprints wherever they go. Others leave something far more lasting: memories, friendships, kindness and a legacy woven into the lives of the people they have met along the way. Rhoda Hattingh is undoubtedly one of those people. A woman of faith, a devoted mother, a friend to many and a familiar face in Barberton's community life for decades.

Rhoda has lived a life filled with adventure, challenges, laughter and, above all, an extraordinary capacity to care for others.

Born on December 14, 1952 at Vereeniging Hospital, Rhoda was the second child of Hagie and Joey van der Merwe. Her older brother, Dattie, was ten years her senior. She grew up in Vereeniging, in a time when neighbours knew one another and family life revolved around shared interests and friendships. "The Van der Merwes were petrolheads through and through," she said. Her brother's friends regularly gathered at their home over weekends to rebuild cars and prepare for saloon car racing. It was a lively household, and Rhoda grew up surrounded by the sounds of engines, tools and enthusiastic conversations about cars.

Her father bought the family four smallholdings, giving Rhoda plenty of opportunity to indulge another passion: animals. She was always taking in homeless animals and caring for them in cooperation with their local veterinarian. Horses became another great love. She broke them in, trained them and prepared them for shows, developing skills and confidence that would remain part of her adventurous spirit.

At just 16, Rhoda ventured into the world of photographic and runway modelling, an experience she remembers with great fondness. After leaving school, she worked as a private secretary for a game-breeding enterprise on a farm bordering the Vaal Dam. Her job, however, was never confined to the office. Once the paperwork was finished, she would often join the men when they went out to capture game. She became something of a little sister to the team, helping with meals, repairing torn clothing and making sure there was always coffee or tea available. There was never a shortage of things to do, and she clearly enjoyed being part of the action.

Barberton entered Rhoda's life in 1977 when her parents decided to retire to the town to be closer to family. Her mother opened a second-hand furniture shop, and Rhoda agreed to come and help for a month. Her employer allowed her the time off, provided she returned to work afterwards. The shop opened on April 1, 1977. On the 13th of that same month, Rhoda met Carel Hattingh, the man who would change the course of her life.

Before the month was over, Carel had asked her to stay in Barberton and what was meant to be a temporary visit became the beginning of a lifelong chapter in Barberton.  Carel proposed in May. They became engaged on June 20, his birthday, and married on July 1, 1977. Carel was a general practitioner in Barberton until his retirement, and together they became an integral part of the town and its community.

After knowing Carel for only six months, Rhoda received what she describes as one of the greatest gifts of her life: his two daughters from his previous marriage, Charleen and Caren, whom she affectionately calls her heart-children. In October 1978, her first biological daughter, Lindi, was born. On June 20, 1981, once again on Carel's birthday, his long-held wish for a son came true when Jaco arrived. The Hattingh family was growing, but Rhoda's definition of family had never been limited to those sharing her surname. Every friend who crossed her children's paths was welcomed into the fold. Over the years, the family simply kept expanding.

Motherhood was an adventure Rhoda embraced wholeheartedly. She supported Charleen's sporting ambitions, driving her to countless netball and athletics events. Under coach Stephani Kotzé at Germiston Callies, Charleen excelled in long jump, sprinting and relay events, eventually earning a place in the South African junior athletics team. This meant many long weekends travelling between Barberton and Germiston, with Rhoda faithfully cheering her on.

Lindi also became involved in community work during high school as a debutante for the local Cancer Association. Together with Wenna and Gordon Strydom, Rhoda helped organise fundraising events, including musical performances, fashion shows and meals. Lindi achieved first place once and second place twice in the debutante competitions.

Hospitality was another of Rhoda's natural talents. She loved cooking and entertaining, and her home was rarely quiet. Children's birthday parties became family occasions, with mothers and relatives joining in the celebrations. She baked the cakes herself, prepared the food and made sure everyone felt welcome. Weekends often meant entertaining ten or more guests, with Rhoda happily spending hours preparing meals. For her, cooking was not simply about putting food on the table, it was another way of showing love.

Her involvement in Barberton's public life grew when Carel decided to enter local politics and stand for the town council. The campaign brought a whirlwind of activity, from canvassing for votes and making telephone calls to addressing community gatherings. Rhoda worked alongside him, helping to build support for the National Party in Barberton. From 1990 to 1994, the couple had the privilege of serving the Barberton community as its mayoral couple.

It was a busy and demanding chapter of their lives. With the support of the municipality, personal assistants and many others, including Marlies Liebenberg, who played an important supporting role, the couple attended an astonishing number of functions. Between them, they were present at as many as 250 or more engagements, sometimes together and sometimes separately. Their commitments took them well beyond Barberton, with visits and functions in Pretoria, Vereeniging, Johannesburg, Secunda, Malelane, Nelspruit and Witbank, among other places.

Rhoda particularly enjoyed the personal side of the role. School visits, community meetings, functions and home visits allowed her to meet people from all walks of life and share in both their happy occasions and their difficulties. She also remembers the important contribution made by the local press in promoting Barberton and putting the town on the map as a tourist destination. Among those she specifically acknowledged was Lynette (Louw) Spencer, whose coverage helped give Barberton valuable exposure.

Behind the public engagements was a woman whose heart was firmly rooted in people and community. Her faith was central to everything she did. Rhoda believes that God has blessed her abundantly throughout her life, and that Jesus remains the ultimate example of how she should live. She describes Christ's humble and loving leadership, extended to everyone, regardless of their circumstances, as the only way she knows how to live her own life. Her relationship with the Almighty, the Triune God, has been her source of salvation, guidance and refuge.

Another particularly meaningful relationship in Rhoda's life was the friendship she developed with Wenna Strydom. After the death of Rhoda's mother, Wenna stepped into a special role, becoming her best friend, mentor and, as Rhoda describes her, a second mother. Wenna taught her much about life, friendship and service to others. Wenna was passionate about her family, her friends, her beautiful gardens and Barberton and its people.

Rhoda's involvement in the community extended into many other areas. She was privileged to serve as a guest speaker and master of ceremonies at various events, opportunities she valued because they allowed her to connect with people and share her love for her Creator. In later years, she also became involved in the musical accompaniment at the NG Church. She served as patron of the Dameskring and, while her children were still at school, participated in the parent-teacher associations of both primary and high schools.

Her caring nature also found an outlet through Care Buddies, a group dedicated to supporting Barberton's elderly residents. They organised bingo days and Christmas celebrations, complete with meals and gifts. When funds were needed for improvements at BOBS Old Age Home, the ladies rolled up their sleeves, baked pancakes and visited local businesses to sell them. It was another example of how a community could achieve so much when people were willing to give their time and energy. Much of the generosity behind these activities came from Anton and Tutzé Erasmus, whose open hearts and generous contributions helped cover food, gifts and other expenses.

In time, life brought its own changes. Health concerns meant Carel gradually reduced his medical practice, working only on selected days until he finally decided to retire in 2022. The couple sold their Barberton home and moved to Bateleur in Nelspruit. Carel's health continued to deteriorate, and he developed dementia. On June 14, 2023, just six days before his birthday, he passed away in Rhoda’s arms following a heart attack. He and Rhoda had shared 46 years of marriage. Losing her life partner was an enormous adjustment, but the family and friendships they had built over the years remained an important source of strength.

Today, Rhoda still resides at Bateleur, where she remains actively involved in activities and enjoys spending time with friends. She also travels frequently to visit her children and friends in different parts of South Africa. Her four children remain her greatest source of pride. Charleen, Caren, Lindi and Jaco, she says, make the world a better place. All share a love for the Lord and are unafraid to live their faith in everything they do. She speaks of each of them with enormous love and respect, although she singles out Lindi's generous and caring nature, describing her as someone who is always willing to help, support and give to others, often putting her own dreams and needs last.

The next generation has added another wonderful dimension to Rhoda's life. She is the proud grandmother of seven grandchildren: Charleen's three children, Astrid, Anouk and Axel, who live in the United States and whom she unfortunately does not get to see as often as she would like; Caren's three children, Matthew, Joseph and Abigail; and Lindi's son, Noah, the youngest of the seven.

Then there are the many friends who have become family over the years, affectionately known as the 'hyphen-Hattinghs'. Rhoda speaks with deep gratitude of the role they have played in her family's life. Among them are Henning du Plessis, Francois Marais, Maryann van Vuuren, Jaques Heskes, Emma Goosen and the Theunissen family, as well as Lindi's many friends. They have all become part of the extended Hattingh family, sharing in its joys, offering support through difficult times and enriching their lives in countless ways.

Her journey has taken her from Vereeniging to Barberton, through years of family life, public service, friendships and personal loss. Yet, through it all, the values that have guided her have remained unchanged: faith, love, kindness and a belief that no one should be left out.

For Rhoda Hattingh, a life well lived has never been measured by the number of places visited or titles held, but by the people loved, the hands held and the lives made a little brighter along the way.

She concluded by saying: “The only way I could have done what I did, was through the support of the whole village or community of Barberton, who loved me wholeheartedly the entire time I lived and served that beautiful town and its people.”