What is love? A Valentine’s Day reflection

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As February rolls in, shop windows turn red, roses appear in buckets on street corners, and heart-shaped chocolates fill the shelves. Valentine’s Day arrives with all its familiar symbols, but beneath the commercial gloss lies a far older and deeper question: What is love?

For some, it is a grand romantic gesture. For others, it is a quiet cup of coffee shared every morning. Love is both the fireworks and the slow-burning candle. And perhaps that is why it has fascinated poets, philosophers, and ordinary people for centuries.

Valentine’s Day often focuses on romantic love, couples going out to dinner, exchanging gifts, or planning something special. But love is far broader than candlelit tables and red roses.

There is the love between parents and children, between lifelong friends, and even between neighbours who look out for one another. In many homes, love shows itself in the simplest ways: a packed lunch, a phone call to check in, or a warm plate of food waiting at the end of a long day.

Love is not always loud or dramatic. Often, it is steady and dependable. It is the person who stays when times are hard, not just when things are easy.

Valentine’s Day has its roots in ancient history and legend, but over time it has evolved into a celebration of affection in all its forms. Around the world, people mark the day differently.

In some countries, it is all about romantic partners. In others, it is a day to appreciate friends, family, and even colleagues. Children exchange cards at school, and families use the day as an excuse to spend time together.

In South Africa, Valentine’s Day often combines global traditions with local flair. Couples may enjoy a braai under the stars, a picnic in the bush, or a relaxed meal at a favourite local restaurant. It does not always have to be fancy. Sometimes, the most meaningful celebrations are the simplest ones.

Everyone experiences love differently.

For the young and newly in love, it can feel like excitement, butterflies, and endless messages late into the night. For couples who have shared decades together, love may look like silent understanding, shared routines, and a deep sense of comfort.

Some people view Valentine’s Day as a joyful occasion, a chance to celebrate their relationships. Others see it as overly commercial or even a little stressful, especially when expectations run high. And that is perfectly normal. Love cannot be measured by the size of a gift or the price of a meal.

At its core, love is about connection, kindness, and presence.

There is no single right way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. What matters most is sincerity.
Some may choose the traditional route: flowers, chocolates, and a romantic dinner. Others may prefer something more personal, a handwritten letter, a home-cooked meal, or a walk somewhere meaningful.

For families, it might be a movie night or a special dessert. For friends, it could be a coffee date or a small get-together. And for those who are single, Valentine’s Day can be a reminder to practise self-love: doing something kind for yourself, taking a break, or spending time on a favourite hobby.

Love is not limited to couples. It lives in friendships, families, communities, and within ourselves.

Perhaps love is not one single thing. Perhaps it is a collection of small moments: laughter around a dinner table, a comforting hug, a shared memory, or a simple “Are you okay?”

Valentine’s Day, for all its hearts and roses, is really just a reminder. A reminder to pause, appreciate the people in our lives, and express feelings we sometimes leave unspoken, because in the end, love is not about the day itself. It is about the everyday.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, maybe the question is not “What should I buy?” but rather “Who should I appreciate?”

Love does not need a price tag or a special occasion. But if one day in February encourages us to be kinder, more grateful, and more open-hearted, then perhaps it serves a worthwhile purpose after all. After all, love is not just something we feel. It is something we choose, again and again, in the small moments that make up our lives.